amber.hue

In the drear November's fog and snow ..

A Simple Realisation Everyday

Final Note. 珺琇绝笔。

Posted December 30, 2009

 

I keep living in this world where I see my presence as unjustified and that every single living, non-living things owe me in every minute ways.

 

I think the world owes me a life, for it tried to take mine away once. And hence I think that I have been dealt with much injustice in every stages of my life till now.

 

By believing that, I can never walk out of that perceived world, the world I presumed to be living in.

 

The unhappy incidents will just keep haunting me and those failures will just keep repeating.

 

History repeats itself when humans do not learn but allow themselves to be filled with the agony and sorrows.

 

It’s not that I did not take steps to curb my awful whole loads of thoughts.

 

I just wasn’t determined enough.

 

This is the very last time I’m doing this.

 

This will be my final resolve.

 

If I ever failed, that’s the end.

 

The end of everything that I once had.

 

 

 

 

amber.hue was formed to allow me to express my thoughts and frustrations in a bid to contain my anger and maintain a tint of saneness in me.

 

Yet looking back, 80% of my posts weren’t happy at all nor did those posts helped me in one bit.

 

I need to get out of this, get out of the past and to do that; I need to rid my mind out of the past incidents.

 

I will move on right from tomorrow, the New Year’s Eve and I’ll get better with the coming year 2010.

 

With this, amber.hue will cease to function starting from today 30th December 2009.

 

The existence of amber.hue shall be erased from this virtual world at 2359 30th December 2009.

 

Hopefully the existence of its owner’s perceived world will be removed too in time to come.

 

Wrote with teary eyes, trembling hands and aching heart.

 

 

 

Signing off with a painful smile,

Junxiu.

珺琇绝笔

 

Tagged as amber.hue

Boxing Day's Punch.

Posted December 28, 2009

Giving opens the door to receiving. We have so many opportunities to give every day.

 

Give kinds words. Give a smile. Give appreciation and love. Give compliments.

You can give courtesy to other motorists while you are driving. You can give a smile to the bus driver. You can give a warm greeting to the person who makes your coffee.

You can give by allowing a stranger to go ahead of you into an elevator, and you can give by asking which floor they are going to and pressing the button for them.

If someone drops something you can give a helping hand and pick it up for them.

You can give warm embraces to those you love.

And you can give appreciation and encouragement to everyone.

 

 There are so many opportunities for us to give and thereby open the door to receiving.

 

And yes, so many and still they slip out of my mind so many times.

 

Boxing Day gave me a real hard punch in the face. I felt so let-down by my own ignorance.

 

I hope to make amendments. Hopefully, all isn’t too late.

 

2 kinds of people & foxes.

Posted December 27, 2009

There are 2 kinds of people.

 

 Those who say, “I will believe it when I see it.”

 

 And those who say, “To see it, I know I must believe it.”

 

 

 

Another version

 

 

There are 2 kinds of fox.

 

Those who didn’t believe they can fly till they witness it with their eyes.

 

And those who believe they can.

 

In the end, fox can indeed fly.

 

They became known as the FLYING FOX! :D

 

 

  

So whenever I feel sick, I tell myself loudly that I can’t fall ill and I’ll get back to wellness after the night sleep.

 

True enough, I’m back to full health the next day.

 

 

That’s the secret why I’m always a lameo and crapper each time you see me!

 

Regarding of the extent of crappiness, I just won’t limp around though I’m so lame at times.

 

Why is that so?

 

 

YOU GOT IT.

 

 

I believe that I can be a true lameo without having to show everyone that I’m limping around!

 

LOL lameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

 

Whoops! I’m still not limping. Gotcha! :O

 

 

 

 

Do we all get the point now?

 

Not the point that I’m really lame and crappy.

 

[I think I need to re-emphasize it again. Lol.]

 

But this,

 

 “To see it, I know I must believe it.”

 

~

 

Oh wait, you have to really believe it.

 

So don’t come looking for me if you start to limp around each time you tried to lame.

 

 

Alright, get moving and start believing now!

 

 

“To see it, I know I must believe it.”

 

A Christmas Card.

Posted December 26, 2009

When life takes something away from you, it gives you something back in return.

 

You just have to realize this fact and learn to appreciate the exchange.

 

 

The day I thought I lost a strong bond that I had always firmly believed and had faith in,

I realized I have been neglecting a bond that has always exist but was buried by my favoritism.

My favoritism of certain relationships;

my sided views of certain bonds

and biased views of different people around me.

 

 

I received a Christmas Card.

A simple handmade card.

A friend whom I lost contact for a year for a total of 365days.

It wasn’t as pretty as the ones you can easily get in the stores.

What make it special are the efforts and thoughts that went into the creation of the card.

 

It is far too beautiful.

 

 

 

Simple handwritten words,

 

A huge message sent.

 

& a wonderful bond discovered.

 

 

That is the best Christmas Gift I have ever received.

 

 

 

 

The gift that life exchanges with you cannot be tagged with a value,

 

But it’s worth will always be known by the heart.

 

对话

Posted December 22, 2009

 

我：“我是否看错了？”

         “ 我错了七年，这么多年。”

 

母亲回：“那我错了更多年。”

 

 

母亲的一语让我醒悟。

出于我

Posted December 22, 2009

 

依恋怀念不过是我们的执著。

情感也只会成为其中的包袱。

我们的执著可能使自己受伤， 身心疲劳。

这是无必要的。

凡事应衡量轻重，明白当中利害，终而适可而止。

 

 

人家说人是不能孤立的。

我说人不相信人，那份不信任将孤立自己。

 

 

不明讲只因不想事事说得那么白。

不面对是因希望能永活在往年中。

 

 

处处逼人，

使他人误解我，

事事婉拒，

种种已道出你的不满、 不懈、不重视、不尊重、不友善、不信任等。

 

你说我极端。我说你懵懂。

 

 

或许没人明白，其者也没察觉我指的就是她们本人。

但我不会道出谁是谁。只要心知肚明即可。

我不犯人， 人不犯我。

你若犯我， 我必反击。

这就是我。

 

 

七年之情谊能如此轻易断，我无言以对。

自认看人的眼光不差， 这次的错误判断让 我无法再相信自己的眼光，更加无法再相信他人。

 

我悲痛欲绝。

 

 

 

 

珺琇笔下

The East Coast - West Coast Friendships.

Posted December 12, 2009

 

Penning down that entry wasn’t an easy task, much more for the posting part.

 

The response was expected, especially from you.

 

I have told myself those but as time goes, those valid reasons don’t seem to hold one bit.

 

 

 

Perhaps I read too much in between the lines, too much in between the in-between-lines.

 

Perhaps I value certain people much more than the rest that ridiculous expectations begin to form.

原因之因太重视。

 

With expectations comes disappointment. It’s a well known fact.

 

 

So it’s best to look back from time to time and adjust yourself back to the main course.

 

Don’t let yourself steer too far from the main route.

 

I may have wandered off from the common ground that we all share.

 

At this moment, I have pulled myself back and I’m back at the common ground that we all acknowledge.

 

以平常心看人看事， 对人不分生疏不分高低。

 

 

Hopefully, we can talk about this candidly during the next meet up.

 

& Bon Voyage! Fly up the highlands safely, don’t roll down the mountains!

 

 

- - -

 

 

What’s the best joke that life ever tells on you?

 

 

When you think you got it right,

 

When you think you have figured it out,

 

And life comes along showing you

 

how wrong you are,

 

how naïve you are,

 

how ignorant you are. Living in the world of yours, unaware of the changes around you.

 

 

日久见人心

Many have mentioned this phrase, but does anyone truly understand its meaning?

 

It’s painful and heart-wrenching to live through it.

 

Never will it be an experience that one will wish to know.

 

 

 

 

 

& so,

Not many can take such jokes that life cracks.

Can you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

What do you do?

 

Book a one-way ticket (first-class).  

‘Cause you knew you’d never see the ground (light)  

Unless you were aboard a jet plane and it was going down. 

And so, you woke up beside the ocean and felt alive with the breaking waves arriving and rushing all around you.

 

Aloha, my happy west coast friends. *waves goodbye* my east coast friends.

 

 

As desirable as it could be, still it’s just imaginary.

 

My imagination.



  

 

If you feel that I have disappointed you, I have done things that I should not have and hence upset you, by all means blame it on me. Take it out on me. I am at fault as I never know how to balance out my time. I never know how to manage relationships; both family relationships and friendships. I failed badly.   

I won’t mind taking the blame if that makes anyone any better.

 

 

 

 - - -

 

 

Unless the first step is taken, you’ll never know the power of self.

 

Yet, in a bid to grow stronger both emotionally and mentally, do look back and keep track of your progress.

 

Always be reminded of the source of your strength

 

& the purpose of that power.

 

Stay with us.

 

- - -

 

 

If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?

 

We need time, only time.


 

 

1 comment

月圆之夜

Posted December 5, 2009

 

回家路上，抬头望天，只见明月，即圆又亮。

 

真是团圆的一晚。不是与家人而是友人。

 

人依然是一样， 样貌并无太大的改变 。

 

但感觉不能说依旧如往年， 更无需谈及感情。 两者乃 息息相关。

 

 

谈话间唯有借着 往事触醒回忆才能使众人拥有共通的话题。

 

而终究只能围绕着往事， 依赖着往事来维持之间的友谊。

 

 

偶尔出现阵阵沉默，这沉默不是我熟悉的。它是陌生的使我感到很不自然。

 

显然地我们没有相同的嗜好及乐趣， 或许以前曾有过， 那却不再重要了。

 

现在的我们只能以包容相待。

 

 

谈笑间不时生出淡淡遗憾及无奈。  

 

我唯有微笑以对，带着点点忧伤参与友人的谈话之中。

 

  

月依然很圆，照亮了大地，照亮了内心， 挑起其情感。

 

但愿友情能长久。

 

 

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